As moms, we’re all too familiar with the sneaky grip of procrastination. There’s always that never – ending pile of laundry, a stack of dirty dishes, or those pesky homework assignments that seem to multiply when we look away. Even things we know are good for us, like squeezing in some exercise or sorting out our finances, often end up on the back burner. And let’s not even get started on the allure of our smartphones, which can so easily derail our best intentions. (Guilty as charged here!)
But here’s the thing: procrastination doesn’t just target the tasks we dread. It also has a way of latching onto the things we genuinely want to do, like finally taking the plunge and starting that business we’ve been dreaming about, putting pen to paper and writing that book, or adopting a healthy new habit. Procrastination is a complex beast, and it’s definitely not as simple as just being lazy. In this article, I’ll dive deep into why we really procrastinate and share some strategies to help you break free from its hold.
The Real Reasons We Procrastinate
Contrary to popular belief, laziness isn’t the root cause of procrastination. I used to think that if I was putting something off, it was just because I didn’t feel like doing it. And that made sense on the surface. After all, who really wants to spend hours doing laundry or struggle through writing a difficult college paper?
But research tells a different story. A study from 2000 identified seven common triggers that can lead to procrastination: tasks that are boring, frustrating, difficult, ambiguous, unstructured, not inherently rewarding, or lacking in personal meaning. While these triggers seem logical, I can think of plenty of tasks that fit these descriptions but that I don’t procrastinate on. And what about those things we’re passionate about but still keep delaying? To really understand procrastination, we have to look deeper. What I’ve discovered is that it’s closely tied to inner conflicts.
Our subconscious mind is like a protective shield, constantly working to keep us safe from harm, whether it’s real or imagined. When a task presents a situation that the subconscious deems “dangerous,” it will find ways to stop us from moving forward, and procrastination is one of those ways. In the mind of our subconscious, anything unpleasant is seen as a threat.
Inner Conflicts at Play
According to Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne in Psychology Today, there are four main inner conflicts that contribute to procrastination:
- Self – Handicapping: This is when, without even realizing it, we create situations that set us up for failure. For example, someone who’s terrified of failing at writing a book might keep putting it off until there’s no time left. Then, instead of facing the fear of not being good enough or the fear of success, they can blame their lack of progress on a lack of time. I’ve found that a technique called tapping has been really helpful in overcoming these self – handicapping thoughts.
- Low Self – Efficacy: Similar to self – confidence, self – efficacy is how confident you feel about your ability to complete a specific task. You might feel like a pro when it comes to baking a cake but lack all confidence when it comes to growing a tomato. When you don’t believe you have the skills to do something, you’re likely to avoid even trying. It’s not just about the fear of failing; it’s also about the stress that comes with attempting a task you think you’re not capable of, which your subconscious wants to avoid.
- Thrill Seeking: For some people, especially extroverts, the pressure of a tight deadline can be exhilarating. Research shows that this thrill – seeking behavior can lead to procrastination as they wait for that last – minute rush.
- Perfectionism: This is another major culprit. Some people are so afraid of making mistakes or not doing something perfectly that they’ll finish a task but then hesitate to submit it. Interestingly, though, some research suggests that perfectionism might actually be a symptom of low self – esteem. A 2011 study found that at least some aspects of perfectionism stem from low self – esteem and self – criticism.
Strategies to Overcome Procrastination
If you’re tired of constantly putting things off and want to become more productive, here are some tips that can make a real difference:
- Recognize the Signs: The first step is learning to spot when you’re procrastinating. It’s not always easy, especially when the task you use to distract yourself, like cleaning, is also something that needs to be done. It’s easy to convince yourself that cleaning was the priority all along. Perfectionism can also be a form of procrastination. If you’re delaying finishing something because you don’t think it’s good enough yet, or if you’re creating obstacles for yourself (like spending money on clothes instead of a necessary computer for writing), you’re probably procrastinating.
- Dig Deeper: Once you’ve realized you’re procrastinating, it’s time to figure out what’s really causing it. It could be fear of failure, fear of success, feeling unworthy, or even guilt. Understanding the mindset issue behind your procrastination is key to getting back on track. Sometimes, though, it might be more about the task itself. If you’re constantly putting off a particular goal, it’s worth considering whether it’s actually something you should be doing in the first place.
- Forgive Yourself: A 2010 study found that forgiving yourself for past procrastination can help reduce future procrastination. If you’ve been beating yourself up over all the things you’ve put off, now’s the time to let go of that guilt and shame. It’s the first step towards making a real change.
- Use Productivity Hacks:
- Break It Down: If you feel overwhelmed by a task, break it into smaller, more manageable chunks. I like to use backward planning, starting with my end goal and working my way back to figure out what needs to be done at each step.
- Prioritize: When your to – do list feels like it’s taking over your life, take 10 – 15 minutes in the morning to prioritize. I usually pick three main tasks that absolutely need to get done, and anything else I manage to do is a bonus. Good time management can also boost your self – confidence.
- Eat the Frog: Brian Tracy’s “Eat That Frog” concept is all about tackling the most difficult, unpleasant task first thing in the morning. Once you’ve gotten that out of the way, the rest of your day will feel a lot easier.
- The 5 – Second Rule: If “eating the frog” sounds too daunting, try the 5 – second rule. According to Mel Robbins, when you have an urge to take action towards a goal, you need to move within 5 seconds, or your brain will talk you out of it. Just count down “5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – GO” and get started.
- The 80/20 Rule: This is my personal favorite. Instead of trying to do everything, focus on the 20% of tasks that will give you 80% of the results. For example, spending a little time on meal planning or teaching your kids to hang up clothes instead of throwing them in the laundry can save you a lot of hassle later.
- Get Accountability: Find a friend or colleague who can check in on your progress regularly, whether it’s weekly or monthly. Knowing that someone else is counting on you can be a great motivator, especially if you don’t want to let them down.
- The Pomodoro Method: This simple technique involves setting a timer for 25 minutes of focused work, followed by a 5 – 10 minute break. After four “pomodoros,” take a longer break of 15 – 30 minutes. It gives you a short, manageable time frame to work and the promise of a break as a reward.
- Focus on the Long Term: Procrastinators often focus on the short – term relief of putting off a task. But when you’re tempted to procrastinate, remind yourself of the long – term benefits, like more money, a peaceful home, or achieving a degree.
- Take Care of Yourself: Make sure you’re getting enough quality sleep and fueling your body with healthy food. Taking care of your physical and mental health gives you the best chance of staying on track and reaching your goals.
Can You Really Overcome Procrastination?
Procrastination can feel like an unstoppable force at times, but it doesn’t have to be. By understanding the underlying causes and using these strategies, you can take back control and start making progress towards your goals. Remember, the key is to identify the root of your self – sabotage first. Once you do that, these productivity tips will be much more effective in helping you move forward.
So, are you a procrastinator? Which of these causes do you relate to the most?
